Q: Well, I heard you play guitar. Are you any good?
A: You'd think after playing for more than a decade, I should be. But you'd be surprised.

Q: Are you a smoker?
A: I can't say for sure. I've never been on fire.

Q: If you could have lunch with any one person in all of history, who would it be?
A: If I had to pick up the tab, definitely Ghandi, because he probably wouldn't eat anything. Him or Karen Carpenter.

Q: I noticed you made a short film about a superhero who drinks coffee. Are you much of a coffee drinker in real life?
A: If it weren't cost-prohibitive, I'd have it intravenously administered.

Q: Do you like your coffee like you like your women?
A: Yep...hot, black, and sassy.

Q: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A: 42.

Q: What was your favorite subject in college?
A: Ogling co-eds. (I minored in it.)

Q: What is the quickest and easiest way to get on your bad side?
A: Poke me in the eye. (duh)

Q: If a skier at the top of a 100 meter high slope with a 30 degree gradient pushes off with an initial velocity of zero meters per second, what is his speed at the bottom of the slope? (Mass is negligible.)
A: Would you stop asking dumb questions?

Q: Are you single?
A: Er...yes.

Q: I find it hard to believe that any girl could resist a stallion such as yourself.
A: Yeah, I don't get it either.

Q: Maybe you should spent less time on the Internet.
A: Maybe you should shut your gob.