No? All right. If you insist....

SethArgabright.Com is in no way affiliated with anyone or anything of any significance or importance. In fact, the entity known as "Seth Argabright" may not even exist at all. This webpage is designed and maintained by a brain in a vat in a Siberian prison camp. And maybe not even there. It just depends on how metaphysical you want to get.

As you probably already guessed, a brain in a vat is not subject to the same rules and laws as the rest of society and therefore cannot be sued, arrested, subpoenaed, or forced to let UN officials investigate his military installations.

SethArgabright.Com is not part of a complete breakfast but, when added to milk, forms a sticky white residue on your computer keyboard.

Caution: Contents are under pressure. Do not agitate SethArgabright.Com. Keep out of reach of children. If ingested, consult a physician. (Unless it's Dr. Alan Smith of 21 E. Crestview Lane, Boston, Massachusetts. I just really hate that guy.)

SethArgabright.Com may not be appropriate for women who are pregnant or nursing, children under the age of 12, accountants, puppies, fictional characters, robots posing as humans, the French, ex-Presidents, the 1976 Cincinanati Reds, or basically anybody, really.

Surgeon General's Warning: Seth.Argabright.Com contains a high level of carcinogens, weapons grade plutonium, fluffy kittens, and other crap. Prolonged exposure could lead to nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, rash, irritation, discomfort, bloating, vertigo, sterility, lung disease, syphilis, "the bends," hangnails, paralysis, death, and even a fate worse than death. Consult your physician to see if SethArgabright.Com is right for you.

No animals were harmed in the making of SethArgabright.Com, although two clowns and a mime were beaten severely.

If you have actually reached this point in the disclaimer, I'm very disappointed in you. Seek professional help.