page two

"One Strobe Over the Line"

The Combine

Sam takes Edie home. There is a view of her street and we see Sam and Edie entering Edie's house. Sam is carrying Edie's bags.

Edie: You can just throw that stuff anywhere. (To the cats) Hi. Hi.. I'm home now. OK? (To Sam) you like cats?
Sam: Little ones! In fact I had two of them on the farm where I grew up, Donder and Blitzen.
Edie: You grew up on a farm too? I though you were from Queens.
Sam: Well what I meant to say was that when I used to visit my cousin on his farm in the country he had cats, in the summer, well winter too.
Edie: When I moved here I had to have something that reminded me of my family and home. That's why I love Wooster.
Sam: Doesn't it get a little crowded around here with Wooster and his little friends?
Edie: (giggle) I could afford a bigger place but I am saving my money. I don't want to be a model for ever.
Sam: You are going back home?
Edie: Yeah and buy my dad all the farm equipment he wants ; maybe get him one of those new combines.
Sam: Yeah like that self propelled one from John Dear, like my cousins always used to talk about and he still does talk about them.
Edie: Then I am going to send my sister to college, she will be the first Lansdale to go.
Sam: That's great! What about you, what are you going to spend on yourself.
Edie: Oh I don't know, maybe I'll go back to school and become a veterinarian, that way I can look after Wooster when he's old and grey.

Styrofoam

This is the start of the scene which culminates with Snowball attacking Edie. Edie is standing on the bridge.

Edie: Somebody PLEASE bring me some coffee with 2 sugars.
Sam: Right.
Al: But not in a styrofoam cup, that stuff doesn't break down for a billion years and its turning the planet into a -
Sam: In a paper cup.
Al: - styrofoam junkyard. It comes straight from hell.
Sam: I got one coming.
Al: OK.
Sam: She looks like she is getting tired Al.
Al: Yeah, the pussy cat doesn't look too good either. How many more locations you got.
Sam: 3 plus the waterfall.
Al: I'd pray for rain.

"A Little Miracle"

Al's summer apparel

Sam goes out to the foyer for the newspaper just in time to see the tip of the Christmas tree shut in the lift and slowly sinking.. he pushes it in as it goes and then picks up the paper and walks reading it.

Sam: New York Times Mon... (He looks in a mirror and sighs.) Monday December 24th 1962. The day before Christmas.
Al: And I sure would like to find one of those under my tree (looking at Bebe walking past.)
Sam: I’m a 200 lb valet.
Al: Well count your blessings you could be wearing a red suit and ringing a bell in front of Macys.
Sam: And you could be a waiter at Trader Vics.
Al: Hey it’s not Christmas where I am, I mean when I am. It’s the middle of July.
Sam: Ok.
Blake: Pearson. (Shouted from dining room).

Intercom

Sam: Doorbell.
Blake: Intercom.
Sam: Intercom. I’m on it. Sir, yes sir.
Sam: Hello.
Intercom: This is Burt down in the lobby.
Sam: Hello?
Intercom: Hello hello.
Blake: Calloway you notice anything….
Sam: Hello?
Intercom: Can you hear me?
Blake: Anything strange about Pearson.
Sam: Hello?
Intercom: Can you hear me?
Calloway: Definitely sir, he worries me. Perhaps we should consider termination.
Intercom: What is it?
Sam: Hello?
Blake: Oh you think we should fire him.
Calloway: It was just an option sir.
Intercom: I have got a Captain Downey down here in the lobby for Mr Blake.
Sam returns to report that Captain Downey is in the lobby.

"Future Boy"

"Moe is me!"

(Sam is pacing outside Moe’s house. Al is watching.)

Al: Well what have we got here, a new bread of guard dog?!
Sam: At least she didn’t take the shirt off your back.
Al: No - no, she dropped her charges.
Sam: How did you manage that?
Al: Well lets say we decided to examine each others briefs and decided to call it even! How did it go with the doctor?
Sam: Great…until he blew up the basement nearly taking Sandler, Irene and me with him!
Al: You see, maybe it would be safer if he was put away.
Sam: No, now listen to me, I don’t know why I didn’t think of this earlier - Moe is me.
Al: You mean ‘Woe is me’?
Sam: No, no back in the time when I started Project Quantum Leap the government tried to shut me down because they thought it was dangerous and that I was crazy but I wouldn’t let them - you wouldn’t let them, why? Because we believed in our work.
Al: But that time machine of his is loonie, it’s a 2,000lb toaster.
Sam: That doesn’t matter, the point is Moe believes in his work and, he’s on the right track, he’s just 40 years ahead of his time.
Al: But Ziggy still says he gets killed by the freight train so you’ve got to put him away Sam.
Sam: I’m not going to give up Al. I’ve got a plan.

(Moe comes out of house with a pyramid hat on his head)

Moe: Hi Kenny, oh, sorry I’m late.
Al: This plan I’ve gotta see.
Sam: What do you think you are doing?!
Moe: I’m just finishing up repairs on the time machine.
Sam: Nooooo.
Moe: No, no, no, the damage is only superficial.
Sam: I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about that! (points at hat)
Moe: Oh the pyramid hat, it generates positive energy.
Sam: Moe, you just don’t get it do you? These people, they want to lock you up they want to put you away.
Moe: That won’t happen.
Sam: How do you know?
Moe: Because I’m not crazy, besides the machine is ready to go and I’m leaving right after the hearing, I just wanted to say goodbye.
Sam: You should have hired your lawyer.
Moe: I want you to argue my case
Sam: What?! I can’t, I mean I’m, I’m just an actor.
Moe: So you’ll *act* like a lawyer
Sam: Moe -

(Sam removes Moe’s hat. Moe smiles and walks away. Sam looks at Al.)
Cut to court room.

"Glitter Rock"

The Beatles

Flash and Sam are sitting on either side of the back seat of the car with Flash's girlfriend between them. She has her hands round the back of both men and when ever Flash is distracted, she strokes and fusses over Sam. Dwayne was sitting in the seat opposite Flash. Through out the scene Flash takes swigs from a small bottle and laughs raucously.

(Flash takes a slug.)
Sam: Maybe you ought to take it a little easy with that stuff- huh?
Flash: Just because you can't hold your own liquor is no reason to go sounding like a bloody bumper sticker. (laughs)
Sam: You don't want to pass out and miss all the fun – huh?
Flash: Huh I am the fun. (spreading arms wide laughing)
Girlfriend: Especially when he's snoring…. (To Sam) I bet you've never fallen asleep on a girl - have you?
Flash: He he.
Sam: Well a gentlemen would never – would never tell.
Flash: Unless he's alone with his mates. (Laugh) You can bet pounds on that. Speaking of which how much did we rake in tonight Dwaynie boy?
Dwayne: We did OK.
Flash: OK, we had 80,0000 screaming fans out there.
Dwayne: And 80 tons of equipment and 80 roadies and crew. Not to mention the hotels and the limos.
Flash: Or tee shirt sales.
Dwayne: Or your personal living expenses which have to be paid for by the corporation.
Flash: Which is us right? (to Dwayne) Right? (To Sam) Right Tonic?
Sam: Yeah right.
Flash: And I say the corporation wants to buy me a Ferrari.
Dwayne: Don't you think you'd be smarter investing your money instead of wasting it on toys?
Flash: I don't want to invest. (laughs) Flash McGrath wants to spend. (Cackle)
Dwayne: That's smart, really smart.
Flash: What?
Sam: I think what Dwayne means to say is that .. ah we should all save our money for a rainy day, that's all.
Flash: Let it pour. We have more money than Croesus. We're making the Beatles look ants, (with Liverpuddlian accent) arn't we?
Sam: I don't remember.
Flash: Uh? (Flash looks at Sam amazed)
Sam: I mean that's what people are going to be saying - about the Beatles – "I don't remember them." - you know, we can really pick. You mean like the Beatles - insect infestation!
(they all laugh)
Flash: And we are the bloody exterminators.
(Flash, laughing, wags his finger at Sam)

"A Hunting We Will Go"

The Bus Journey

Sam is sitting next to the window asleep with his hat pulled down over his eyes. Diane is reaching across him to the window pushing it wide open.

Diane: I think I'm going to be sick - oh God this bus thing -
Sam: Yes, ok
Diane: They make me sick – fresh air.
(Diane is lying over him pushing herself toward the window. Sam shuts the window.)
Sam: That is just too much.
Diane: Oh.
Sam: Too much.
(He pushes her back into her seat. She leans forward and retches.)
Sam: Oh wait a minute ok, ok , oh, oh, ok.
(He swings her round so that they have switched seats.)
Sam: OK, better.
(Diane continues to appear to be bus sick. There are mutters of "bathroom" from the other passengers.)
Diane: Please, please.
Sam: Here we go, just stay by the window, get some air, get some air and I'm going to go take a little walk and stretch my legs, you know.
(Sam reaches to undo the handcuffs. Diane immediately perks up.)
Diane: I feel better already.
(As she speaks Sam is handcuffing her to the base of the seat in front.)
Diane: I don't believe it.
Sam: OK
(Al appears and immediately bends down to stare at Diane.)
Al: Hi Sam.
(Sam walks off down the bus.)
Sam: This way. Now listen Al...
(He realizes that Al is not following him. Al is still starring at Diane.)
Al: Maxine... Maxine, Maxine, Maxine... oh Maxine.
Sam: Do you mind? Come on. (whistles for Al)
Al: Sorry Sam.
(Diane has been tugging away at the handcuffs and assumes Sam was speaking to her.)
Diane: Sorry.
(Al starts to walk down the bus)
Al: Maxine.
Sam: Her name is Diane not Maxine.
Al: Huh...yeah, I know that. Her resemblance to Maxine just blows my mind.
Sam: Al what else have you found out?
Al: Well Diane is innocent and you have to clear her.
Sam: That is what Ziggy said?
Al: That's the way I interpret the data.

go to page 1
go to page 3
Micky DuPree's syndicuts