Transcripts of Cut Scenes

For syndication, many scenes that we saw with the original airings on NBC have been cut. (And to make room for more commercials no less! Boooooo!) Butchered so much, in fact, that they are now referred to as syndi-cuts, not syndicates.

During the newsgroup discussions, when we encountered the cuts, Lyn and Vicki Wiltshire generously prepared written transcripts from their collection of all the episodes in tact. Those are included below. Mickey DuPree also transcribed some syndicut scenes not included here (they're a little more meticulous) and you can download those as a zipped .doc file.

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The Merits of Fidelity - "Thou Shalt Not"

This was the scene just after Joe and Sam were talking in the petrol queue. Joe had told Sam that he was thinking of having an affair.
Sam: I don’t think he meant it; he was just upset.
Al: Well maybe they both should have one--get it out of their systems.
Sam: Have an affair, be unfaithful?
Al: Well, sometimes I think that fidelity is highly over rated... uh... nobody looks at the downside.
Sam: There is a downside to being faithful?
Al: Of course. It discourages social interaction. Look Sam, if all the men in the world could freely... socialize with all the women in the world, there would be no war.
Sam: Until their wives found out!
Al: Good point! Well maybe your mission here is not to keep Irene or Joe from having an affair, it is just to see that neither of them finds out... about the other one.
Sam: That’s ridiculous. Fidelity is the basis of a good relationship. ‘course I could not expect you to understand that, could I?
Al: My relationships have all been good--it's my marriages that haven’t worked out.

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The Journey to Denver - "Leaping Without a Net"

Long distance shot of the two cabs plus caravans driving along a winding road with the " Tequila" song in the background. Close up of Sam then the camera zooms out so that you can see Al from waist up through the roof of the cab jiggling to the music.
Al: I like this song.
Sam sees Al and does a double take.
Al: I first heard it in Pensicola when I was a cadet. Me and Dave Healy we knew these girls who were animals.
Shot of vans going round a bend in the road with Al obviously leaning on the cab roof.
Sam: Al.
Al: What?
Sam: Would you pretend, just pretend to sit next to me?
Al looks puzzled and does a slow sink down with handlink.
Al: If it will make you feel any better.
Sam: It does! Where have you been?
Al: I was riding in the other truck with Eva and Lazlo they did not care where I was.
Sam: They couldn’t see you.
Al: I was watching him drive, he’s got something wrong with his right arm.
Sam: Torn rotator cuff.
Al: You suppose that’s why he drops her tonight?
Sam: No doubt. You know I don’t know how he’s been managing even the simple catches, he must be relying on his good arm.
Al: What are you going to do?
Sam: What do you mean " what an I going to do". I can’t catch her.
Al: Yes, you can.
Sam: I can not, you saw me this morning, you saw me I dropped her-
Al: You missed her this morning because you made one mistake.
Sam: Yeah, climbing up there.
Al: No, you reached. You can’t reach, you have gotta wait for her to come to you and then you grab her. If you had done that you would have caught her just like on the double.
Sam: You really think so?!
Al: Of course! Am I ever wrong? Marriages don’t count!

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Ginger the Cat - "Honeymoon Express"

Old Lady: "Please be careful".
Sam: "Oh don't worry I've been climbing trees since I was 3" (clinging on to tree)
Old Lady: "If Ginger fell, I'd just die"
(Al appears hovering in branches.)
Al: "What are you doing Sam?"
Sam: "Saving Ginger".
Al: "That name is probably why he's up here in the first place."
Sam: "He?"
Al: "Sam, how would you like to stop a revolution. Does the name Fidel Castro mean anything to you."
Sam: "Why, should it?"
Al: "Well I don't see how since its '57 and he won't invade Cuba for another 2 years."
Sam: "Don't tell me Ziggy's changed his mind about what I'm here to do" (Al consults handlink in normal fashion.)
Al: "Parallel hybrid computers don't change their minds, their ego won't let them. He's still predicting you are here to make an historic rescue."
(Sam turns his attention back to the cat.)
Sam: "Here Kitty".
(Sam falls, cat lands on Sam and then jumps into old lady's arms).
Old lady: (To cat) "Oh, Ginger my poor baby are you alright." (To Sam). "My hero."

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The back to front Panty Girdle - "MIA"

Sam walks into the changing room (still dressed as a hooker and in great pain from the high heels) Al is standing next to his locker and all of the other police guys are whistling at him.
Al: It's the heels Sam. Saaaaam, you look cute in those 3 inch heels!
Scaggs: hey listen, Lisa wants to meetcha
Sam: Lisa?
Al: It's his wife.
Sam: Oh yeah, your, argh your wife, yeah.
Scaggs: Hey, never forget the name of your partners wife, it’s not respectable.
Sam: No, I just, uh, have trouble sometimes remembering names.
(Sam walks off and whispers to Al) yeah, like my own, where’s my locker?
Al: here it is
Sam: I’m pencilled in!
Al: Well, you’re the new boy here Sam, you just made detective and that’s your partner, sergeant Roger Scaggs, he’s a heck of an undercover detective, as a matter of fact his arrest rate is the highest in San Diego.
Sam: What am I here to do?
(Sam opens his locker and finds lots of kinky lanungerie)
Al: I don’t know but it looks like my kind of work! It’s a hazing Sam, like in a fraternity.
(everyone crowds round and claps)
Sam: I know what it is Al!
(Sam brings out of his locker a black lacy thing and examines it publicly) Tina will love this.
Al: I’m sure she would!
(now he brings out a red g-string)
Sam: Now I think this will fit Laurie. Michelle?
(all of the guys are hooting in the background) and I can’t wait to see Elsa in this (brings out one of those kinky body things) unless of course you think that it might look better on Lisa! (throws it at Scaggs and everyone laughs)
Scaggs: Oi, that’s not funny, shut up all of you! (everyone goes back to work) you’re all right partner!
Al: Elsa? I don’t remember any Elsa?
(Sam still digging through locker)
Sam: Pants!! Thank you (hugs his jeans)
Al: Well personally I think that you would look kinda foxy in this purple number with the white fuzz! Just my opinion.
Sam: (Through gritted teeth) why am I here?
Al: Your name is Jake Rawlins, this is interesting Sam, Jake is usually short for Jacob, but you’re just plain Jake! (evil look from Sam) never mind! You graduated from UCLA in 65 with a BA in criminal... (slaps handlink, which makes a noise--Sam is getting undressed) ...Justice. Then you enrolled in the San Diego police department a month later. Well, you were second in your class there and since you joined the force you’ve had two commendations! The first of which was, uh, you saved the life of a wounded fellow officer; you shielded him with (Sam looks puzzled by the black bra he is wearing) just twist that around your body if you wanna get it off.
Sam: (Turning round) what?
Al: Your brazier. Just twist the catch around to the front so you can undo it. (Sam pulls the arm straps off and two padding things come out) Uh, you shielded him with your body in a shoot-out in an attempted armed car robbery.
Sam: Well, Jake did.
Al: Well, you’re him now, sort of.
Sam: What did Jake do wrong that I’m here to put right?
Al: You mean besides putting your panty girdle on backwards?
Sam: Looks OK.
Al: trust me Sam, it’s on backwards--
Sam: -no, I don’t wanna-
Al: -trust me, it’s backwards-
Sam: -I didn’t put in on anyway-
Al: -it’s back-
Sam: -Al, don’t-
Al: -It's back-wards! It’s on backwards.
Sam: Okay. Just what am I doing in San Diego?
Al: It's 69. April 1st 196- hey, it’s April fools day!
Sam: Oh that’s all I need, a leap that’s one big April fools day joke.

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